America's Idea
by emo.xiggy
Summary: America comes up with a 'brilliant' idea to help improve international relations: handcuff nations together for a week to force them to cooperate! Will they survive the week or go insane trying? ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1: And So It Begins

**I would like to start off by saying that do not own Hetalia- Axis Powers.**

**On another note... To the people that read the Amazing Ice Cream Adventure and Letters from Sealand- I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I'll update those ASAP, okay?**

**The link for the image-cover-thingy can be found on my profile!**

**Well, enjoy!**

"Okay guys!" America said enthusiastically. "I, the United States of Awesome-"

"Not as awesome as me!" Prussia interrupted. America cleared his throat.

"As I was saying," America said "The reason I have called you here today is because I have a brilliant idea to improve international relations!" England snorted.

"Of course you do," he said.

"Now is not the time for sarcasm, Iggy," America had a serious look in his eyes.

"Don't call me that!" said England.

"I will call you whatever I like," said America. "So, here is my brilliant idea..." America reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. He dangled them in front of his face, grinning as he swung them side to side. The other nations looked at him with raised eyebrows and confused expressions.

"What are you going to do with those?" England asked, clearly suspicious of America's intentions.

"Well..." America began, still swinging the handcuffs. "I was thinking, 'Gee, wouldn't it be nice if me and the other nations weren't fighting all the time?' and then I thought, 'Wouldn't it be chaos if we ended up handcuffed to another country for an ENTIRE WEEK?' and then I thought, 'OMG! If that happened, eventually we'd all have to get along! And then it would be all happy happy joy joy from then on!'" Several of the nations burst out into laughter.

"Let me get this straight," Prussia said. "You think that if we're handcuffed to someone else in this room, eventually we'd all learn to get along?" America nodded vigorously.

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" said Romano. "And I've heard a lot of stupid things in my lifetime." He glanced at Spain, then at Italy.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" asked Spain.

"Veeeeeeeeh," said Italy.

"I have to side with Romano on this one," England said.

"Oui," agreed France. "The idea seems a bit... farfetched."

"Who says 'farfetched' anymore?" laughed America. France frowned.

"When you think of a better word, you tell me," he said. America paused. Surely there had to be a better word for it. He just couldn't think of one that minute...

"Well, I don't think it's a bad idea at all!" said Canada. "It could work... maybe."

"Did you hear something?" asked Russia.

"Err, no..." said America. He looked over to his left. "When did you get here, Canadia?"

"It's Canada!"

"Suuure thing, Canadia," said America. "Well, who wants to draw first?" America held up a baseball hat filled with little slips of paper. He jiggled the hat around to mix it up a little.

"Draw what first?" asked Poland.

"A name, stupid!" said Prussia.

"Nobody asked you! Sheesh!" said Poland. "Why can't you, like, be nicer?"

"See!" America jumped up and pointed at the two arguing countries. "This is exactly the kind of thing my brilliant plan can prevent!"

"Hold on a second!" said Hungary. "I thought we all agreed it was stupid."

"Yeah!" said Korea.

"I second that notion!" said England.

"C'mon guys!" America pleaded. "Canadia likes the idea, and we all like Canadia, so I say we do it!" He jiggled his baseball hat around again.

"Who?" Everyone gave America more confused looks.

"ME! CANADA!"

"Did you hear something?" asked Russia.

"It wasn't me!" said China.

"C'EST DEJA VU!" cried France.

"AAAH! SCARY! GHOST!" cried America, jumping into England's arms. Japan facepalmed.

"Get off me, you git!" "SCARY GHOST! SCARY GHOST! Scary scary scary! Don't let it eat me, Iggy! DON'T LET IT EAT ME!"

"America-san! Calm down!"

"Maple..."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canada! The one who feeds you!"

"Fusososososo! Fusososososo!"

"I want pasta, dammit!"

"Why does this always happen, aru?"

"Sighing invented in Korea, da-ze!"

"Kesesese!"

"Kolkolkolkolkolkol..."

"Liet, like, what time is it?"

"Two o'clock."

"Veeh, Germany, I'm hungry..."

"Don't talk to my brother, Potato Bastard!"

"Churrrrrrroooos!"

"Ah... ah... ACHOOO!"

"Bless you!"

"Thanks, Liechtenstein!"

"Talk to her again, and I'll shoot you."

"America, was that you who just touched my butt?"

"It wasn't me, Iggy! I swear!"

"A hon hon hon..."

"So it was you?"

"No..."

"It was you, wasn't it?"

"All will become one with Mother Russia."

"BROTHEEEEEERR..."

"Aaaah! Go home go home go home go home!"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Germany yelled. Everyone was quiet.

"As stated before, the point of this meeting was to help solve problems, not create new ones." Germany sat down again. Everyone else did the same.

"Okay!" said America, holding out his baseball hat. "I'm going to ask again. Who wants to draw first?" Everyone was quiet.

"No volunteers? Looks like I'll have to choose... a victim." America looked around the room with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes before pointing his finger at England.

"Iggy first!" he said cheerfully. England glared at America before standing up and stuck his hand into the baseball hat. He fished around a bit before finally picking a slip of paper and opening it. After reading it, he made a face and leaned over to whisper something in America's ear.

"Nope! There will be no switching!" America said loudly. England blushed.

"You didn't need to answer so loudly," he mumbled. There was an long, awkward silence.

"Sooooo..." said America.

"Yeeees?" said England.

"Care to tell?" America pointed at the slip of paper. England blushed again.

"Right! Sorry about that. I... uh... forgot." England handed the paper to America. "Would you mind reading it for me?"

"Sure!" said America. The other nations sat there impatiently. This was taking forever. America read the paper quietly and began to laugh.

"It's France," he snickered. "What a coinkydink."

"Coinkydink?" asked England.

"Do you have a problem with my word choice?" America said.

"Actually, yes," said England. He looked at France, who had mysteriously appeared beside him. He turned back to America.

"How long is this for again?" he asked.

"One week!" said America. England looked at France through his peripheral vision. He shuddered. France laughed.

"What's wrong, England?" he said. "Scared?"

"No!" England said loudly. He blushed and turned to America. "Hurry it up already!" America, like the others, was still trying to contain his laughter. France and England held their hands out and he snapped a pair of handcuffs on them.

"NEXT!" he yelled. France and England returned to their seats (Well, England tried to, but couldn't, since he was now handcuffed to France) and the other nations walked up and drew names out of the hat.

"Okay!" said America, who was now handcuffed to Korea. "My friend Tony shall now proceed to lock the keys in this safe!" He used his free hand to gesture at both Tony, his alien friend, and the safe. Tony took the keys from America and locked them in the safe.

"Thank you, Tony." said America. "And since it would be hard for you guys to return to uh... wherever you came from... You guys can stay in my house for a week! It'll be fun!"

"I can't believe this, aru," China said miserably. Russia giggled. Now he could watch China without wearing that stupid panda suit!

"I can't believe you drew my name out of the hat, Romano!" Spain said happily. "Aren't you glad you got me and not... Oh, I don't know... Russia?"

"Of all the people in this room... I get stuck with you..." Romano said angrily.

"Kesesese!" laughed Prussia. "We get to spend a whole week together, Hungary!"

"If I hear you saying anything 'claiming my vital' regions, I will kill you," Hungary said.

"This is irritating," Austria said. "How am I supposed to play the piano if I'm attached to you?"

"Hmph," said Switzerland. If stupid, airheaded Poland did anything to Liechtenstein, he would murder him.

"H-hi, Belarus!" Lithuania said shyly. Belarus said nothing. _Who to kill first? _she thought. _America, China, or the idiot I'm handcuffed to?_

England surveyed the scene in front of him.

"This isn't going to work," he said. "The majority of us will be dead by tomorrow morning."

"Don't be so sure," said France. He moved closer to England. "I'm sure we'll work something out." England frowned.

"That didn't sound very reassuring," he said.

"It wasn't meant to," France said, moving even closer to England. England, thoroughly creeped out, scooted as far away from France as the handcuffs allowed.

**I'm sorry it's so cheesy! And that they're all kinda OOC...**

**But anyways, I hope you guys liked it! I really don't know if I'll continue this or not... It was kind of a spur of the moment thing... If I get three or more reviews telling me I should, then I will.**

**Thanks for reading guys! And don't forget to review!**


	2. Chapter 2: The First Night

**Remember, I do not own Hetalia- Axis Powers or Axis Powers Hetalia or whatever you want to call it. It belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya!**

**Also, did anyone who had the whole ERROR TYPE 2 problem thingy notice that it's gone? Yaaaaay!**

**Thank you to Angel of the Midnight Sea, USUK 4ever, Firey-Nii-Wolf, solitarycloud, ScoutingForGuys, and Liberty Girl With The Firework for reviewing.**

* * *

"Tomato Bastard!"

"..."

"Hey! Bastard!"

"..."

"Don't ignore me like that! Stop snoring and listen to me, dammit!"

"..."

"Spain! Wake up!"

"..."

"Wake up, you stupid Tomato Bastard! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!"

"Owwwww... What was that for?"

"You weren't listening to me!"

"Well, you didn't need to sit on me. You're heavy, you know."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"No. I just meant that-"

"Well, fine! I think you're fat too! And ugly! And stupid! Don't ever talk to me ever again! Ever! Now scoot over! You've taken over the entire bed, dammit! And all the blankets! I get cold too, you know!"

"I wasn't calling you fat! I was just-"

"I don't want to hear it, bastard!"

"Romano, I'm sorry."

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am! How do you know I'm not sorry?"

"I just do. And if you really are sorry, then you'll shut up and let me sleep."

* * *

"What's the matter, China?"

"N-nothing, aru. I'm just... tired."

"If you were tired, you'd be sleeping. You seem scared of something."

"I am not!"

"You are too. There is nothing to be scared of. I will protect you, da?"

"Umm, yeah. Sure you will, aru."

"Are you doubting me?"

"No... I just... nevermind. I'm going to sleep."

"Good night!"

"Good night, Russia."

* * *

"Hungary?"

"What now?"

"I have to go pee."

"Prussia!"

* * *

"You know, Liet and I used to do this."

"What?"

"Sleep together."

"Oh. That's nice."

"Yeah, it was like, really fun. But then we stopped because Liet was all like, 'You're hogging the blankets!' and stuff so yah."

"..."

"Do I hog all the blankets?"

"Kind of."

"Sorry. You can like, have them if you want..."

"No, that's okay."

"Am I like, keeping you up? You sound kind of like, sleepy."

"Umm... Kind of."

"Sorry. I'll let you like, sleep now. Good night!"

"Good night."

* * *

"Good night, England!"

"No! Wait! Turn turn the lights back on!"

"Why?"

"I... I... err..."

"What?"

"Umm, nothing."

"Just answer the question. Why do you want to sleep with the lights on?"

"Well, I'm afraid of what you'll do to me in the dark."

"A hon hon hon..."

"Stop laughing! I don't see what's so funny!"

"You."

"And what exactly do you find so amusing about me?"

"Well, everything."

"Hmph. I'm going to bed."

"A hon hon hon..."

"What on earth is so funny this time?"

"You look extremely cute when you're trying to go to sleep."

"Creeper! Stop watching me!"

"Well, I couldn't watch you if the lights were off."

"Fine! Turn the damn lights off!"

"Really?"

"Yes, really. You're going to be a creep either way!"

"A hon hon hon..."

"STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"

* * *

"Romano?"

"..."

"Romano?"

"..."

"Are you still awake?"

"What do you want, Tomato Bastard?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I wasn't calling you fat, okay?"

"Whatever."

"No, really, I feel bad..."

"Sure you do."

"I do! Really!"

"Just... just go to sleep."

"Okay. Good night, Romano."

"I hope a snake flies in the window and eats you."

"Snakes don't fly, silly!"

"Yes they do. Now piss off and go to bed, bastard!"

"Okay. I love you too, Romano."

* * *

"America?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm kinda hungry."

"Okay. What do you want to eat?"

"I don't know."

"I think I've got some left over pizza in the fridge. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah! Sure!"

"Let's go downstairs and put some in the microwave. But we have to be quiet, because it's like, midnight and I think everyone's sleeping."

"Okay!"

"We shall be ninjas!"

"Ninjas!"

"Alright! Let us go, fellow ninja!"

* * *

"Stop that!"

"Stop what, England?"

"Breathing down my neck! I can't sleep when I know you're being a stalker!"

"I am not a stalker!"

"You are!"

"Am not."

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"WOULD YOU TWO BE QUIET?"

"Switzerland?"

"What're you doing here?"

"Some of us are trying to sleep! And we can not do so if you two are arguing like a bunch of two year olds! Now kindly SHUT UP or I. Will. SHOOT YOU!"

"..."

"..."

"England?"

"What do you want now?"

"Uh... good night."

"Ditto."

* * *

**Okay guys! Since I got more than three reviews, I shall continue. Yes, I am aware that it was kind of a dirty trick to pull. And by that I mean saying I wouldn't write the story if I didn't get reviews. I apologize to all who were annoyed by that.**

**As you are all aware, this entire chapter was dialogue. I hope I didn't confuse any of you with that. I just like dialogue for some reason… Maybe it's because I like to talk.**

**Okay! Last note! I promise! I need to figure out which pairings to put in the story. As you know, due to the circumstances, some pairings will be almost impossible to write. As of now, there are no pairings. But feel free to request pairings if you like. Just remember who's handcuffed to who, okay? If there is a pairing you really, really, really, would like to have but is kind of hard to write due to the circumstances of the story (for example, USUK) I would try my best to make it work. Also, my friend M has requested that I include some Austria x Switzerland. So any pairings with these two characters (aside from the aforementioned pairing) will not be included in the story. I am also going to include Spamano (just because it's my favorite, sorry to those of you who don't like it), so same goes for that pairing.**

**To finish this chapter off, thank you for reading, and thank you for putting up with my insanely long author's note.**

**~Xiggy**


	3. Chapter 3: A Tree Pees On Prussia

**I do not own Hetalia- Axis Powers.**

* * *

When the nations awoke in the morning, America and Korea were no where to be found. Their only clues to where they might have gone were a pizza box and two empty cans of root beer. Not a single note with their location in it or anything of the sort was left behind.

But of course, no one really cared. France managed to locate America's cooking supplies and made everyone breakfast. The nations then proceeded to talk amongst themselves.

"C'mon, Romano! I said I was sorry!"

"I don't want to hear it!"

"Did you sleep well, England?"

"With you next to me? Actually, no."

"Hey, Belarus..."

"Don't speak to me."

"I miss Gilbird..."

"I miss my frying pan."

"And then the goat went into the bathroom and he..."

"Go on! This is like, totally interesting."

"I wonder if America has a piano here somewhere."

"I doubt it."

"HEY YOU GUYS! THE HERO AND HIS AWESOME SIDEKICK ARE BACK!"

Everyone turned to stare at America and Korea, who had just walked in the room. America had what looked like ketchup on his shirt, and Korea had something on his face.

"Where the hell where you?" said England. "We wake up, and all that's left of you is a bunch of rubbish on the table!"

"Oh," said America. "Well, you see, I'm teaching Korea about American culture. So I took him out to breakfast to show him American food."

"It was really yummy!" Korea added.

"You've got something on your forehead," said Spain. Korea wiped his face with his hand.

"I think that's whipped cream," he said.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO!" screamed England. "Leaving us here, alone, without any kind of warning! That's incredibly rude!"

"Wow, Iggy. Who spit in your bean curd?" America said.

"What kind of expression is that?" England asked.

"A heroic one. I got it from some Disney movie," America said with a grin.

"Ugggh, stop doing that!" England whined.

"Doing what?" said America.

"Smiling! All. The. Damn. Time!" said England.

"What's wrong with smiling?" America asked. "I can't be scowling all the time like you. And just because you're an angry person doesn't mean we all have to be."

England scowled at America as a response.

* * *

"So he does have a piano."

Austria and Switzerland stood alone in America's living room. Austria had insisted on doing a bit of piano hunting, and Switzerland had reluctantly agreed. Austria reasoned that since America had such a big house, he had to have a piano hiding somewhere, even if it was just for decoration. As far as anyone knew, America did not have any musical skill. Austria looked at Swtizerland.

"May I?" he asked, gesturing at the piano. Switzerland nodded. They took a seat on the piano bench and Austria began to play, using only his right hand since his left was attached to Switzerland. After awhile, he began to make a few mistakes, frowning slightly every time he did so. Eventually, he stopped.

"Why did you stop? It didn't sound like the song was over," said Switzerland.

"It was... irritating me," Austria responded.

"Irritating you? I thought this is what you normally do in your free time," said Switzerland.

"Well, without the left hand part, it's difficult. It sounds different and I can't seem to recall which notes to play. Therefore, it is irritating." Austria said.

"Hmm," said Switzerland.

"It just doesn't sound quite right," Austria insisted. "I can't play without my left hand."

"Hmm," said Switzerland.

* * *

Romano dumped the jar of Sharpies on the floor and sifted through the pile until he found a color he liked. He uncapped the purple Sharpie and doodled a large, fat number six on his hand.

"What's that, Romano?" asked Spain, leaning over to see what Romano was doing.

"It's a six, idiot," Romano said.

"What for?" asked Spain.

"One week is seven days. Yesterday was Day One. I'm stuck with you for six more days," Romano replied.

"Hmm. It's kind of crooked looking," said Spain. He poked it and the six smeared a little.

"Don't do that!" said Romano, trying to yank his hand away. However, due to the handcuffs, Spain's hand was yanked away as well.

"It only looks shitty because I'm right handed, and that hand is attached to you, so I used my left. And because you smudged it, bastard," said Romano. He tried to look cool by crossing his arms and turning away, but he failed to do that as well for the reasons listed above.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Spain asked, pouting.

"Do have some kind of memory loss problem?" said Romano. "If not, you should know perfectly well why I'm so damn mad!"

"I never meant to call you fat!" Spain said defensively.

"Then why did you say I was 'heavy'?" Romano said, putting air quotes around heavy.

"Because you sat on me! Human beings aren't meant to sit on other human beings! Especially if they weigh... How much do you weigh?"

"That is information I can not disclose, Tomato Bastard." said Romano. He turned away from Spain and stuck his nose up in the air for dramatic effect. He even added a little "Hmph!"

"Can't... or won't?" Spain paused after the first word. If Romano could be all dramatic, so could he!

"Both," said Romano. Spain sighed. Was Romano ever able to give anyone a straight answer?

"Aren't you going to clean up the Sharpies?" asked Spain.

"No," replied Romano. "If America is bugged by them laying there, he can do it himself." Spain felt bad that America would have to clean up Romano's mess, so he picked up the multi-colored Sharpies and arranged them in the jar in a logical order. He looked over at Romano, who had randomly fallen asleep.

"He was awake like, two minutes ago!"he said to himself. Spain looked at a nearby clock, which read 3:06. He glanced at Romano.

_Some things never change,_ he thought.

* * *

Hungary and Prussia quietly closed the back door behind them.

"Did you get the umbrella?" asked Prussia. Hungary held up the umbrella and opened it.

"You know, we could've just told America we wanted to go for a walk instead of sneaking out of the house," she said. "And plus, it's raining. Who wants to go for a walk in the rain?"

"Me! I don't think I can stand being in that house for a whole week," said Prussia. "It's so... un-awesome." They continued their walk for in silence.

"Aaaah!" screamed Prussia.

"What it is it?" asked Hungary.

"The tree... I- I- I- It peed on me! Covered me in its... its... its tree urine!" Prussia stuttered, wiping the "tree urine" off his face. Hungary rolled her eyes.

"Tree urine? Really? I'm guessing some tree just dripped water on your head," she said.

"No!" said Prussia. "It's out to get me! My awesomeness is just too much to take! It's just too much! So it peed on me!"

"Prussia, the tr-" Hungary started to say something, but Prussia cut her off.

"THERE WAS NO NEED TO URINATE ON ME, TREE!" he yelled. "Just because Hungary was hogging the umbrella does not mean you should piss on me! I'm already wet!"

"Maybe we should go back to America's house," said Hungary.

"Yeah," said Prussia, sticking his tongue out at and flipping off the offending tree. "How exactly did we get to the park anyway? You remember how to get back, right?"

* * *

**Okay, guys! Here I am with an update! I'm sorry this didn't come sooner... I got grounded and then after that I had to write a paper on the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki...**

**To make up for it, I have decided to have a... contest of sorts. Whoever wins gets a oneshot. Here's how it works: There will be a question. You will answer the question. The first person to answer correctly gets to request a oneshot. However, there are some, umm, requirements for this oneshot. I will make three lists. You will pick one thing from each of these lists to be involved in the oneshot. Here are the lists:**

**List A:**

**~ America**

**~ Italy**

**~ Prussia**

**~ Poland**

**~ Russia**

**List B:**

**~ England**

**~ Romano**

**~ Hungary**

**~ China**

**~ Belarus**

**List C:**

**~ bubble soap**

**~ swing set**

**~ see saw/teeter totter/whatever**

**~ snuggies**

**~ baby pictures**

**You have probably noticed that Lists A and B are characters, and List C is a bunch of random things. You're all probably very confused as to how this works. If you get the question right, here is an example of what you could request for the oneshot:**

**America, Hungary, and snuggies.**

**You see? You pick one thing from each list. But only if you are the first to get the question right.**

**So here's the question: What Disney movie did America get his bean curd line from?**

**As a conclusion to this long author's note, thank you for reading and make sure to review! Because reviews make me happy! And when I'm happy, I procrastinate less...**


	4. Chapter 4: American Is a Language Too!

**I do not own Hetalia- Axis Powers.**

* * *

"I cannot believe you got us lost!"

"No I didn't! The tree urine caused me to lose my sense of direction!"

"Stop blaming the tree and figure out how to get back! Your sense of direction is worse than Austria's!"

"Don't compare me to that priss!"

"I'll compare you to whoever I like!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"Well, stop yelling at me, you... you... dummkopf!"

"Oh, puh-leeez. Is that the only German you know?"

"I refuse to talk to you until you get us back to America's house."

"Fine. We'll just have to retrace our steps. Let us begin the retracing process."

"How is walking backwards 'retracing your steps'?"

"Well, we're going back in the direction we came."

"How do you know we didn't come here from the other direction?"

"Shut up. I'm trying to retrace. Retracing... Retracing... My steps..."

"Pffffffft."

"Are you scoffing at me?"

"You and your 'retracing'."

"Shut up! Or me and my awesome retracing skills will leave you here! Where evil trees pee on innocent people!"

"We're handcuffed together. I don't think you could leave me here."

"Fine! Whatever! Just don't interfere with the retracing process!"

* * *

"That's some shitty weather out there."

"Romano! You're awake!"

"Aaaaaaaand, now I'm going back to sleep."

"No! I'm bored!"

"Shut up. No one wants to hear it, bastard."

"Wanna go outside?"

"In the rain?"

"Yeah!"

"No way. That's the stupidest thing ever. Who does that?"  
"I do! And besides, I thought playing Battleship was the stupidest thing ever!"

"Everything you do is the stupidest thing ever."

"Romano! That's not very nice!"

"Don't blame me for the attitude. You raised me."

"I guess you're right..."

"You know I am."

~PAGEBREAK~

"Got any threes, America?"

"No, go fish! Isn't this game great, Iggy? HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

"I hate Go Fish."

"I have to agree with you on that. C'est trés ennuyeux."

"Stop speaking in your stupid froggy-language! No one understands you!"

"Yeah, here in America, we speak American!"

"There is no such language as American, you git! I raised you to speak English! But obviously you haven't quite grasped the English language as well as I have, for your speaking skills are atrocious!"

"Calm down, Angleterre."

"Stop calling me that! French sounds ugly."

"Actually, I think it sounds better than English. But Korean will always be the best language in the world!"

"No, English!"

"Français!"

"American!"

"Shut up! There is no such language!"

"Yes there is!"

"I won't hear of it! There is no such language!"

"I am from America and I speak American! The language of this beautiful nation! This beautiful nation where people speak American!"

"For the last time, it's not a bloody language! And you are hardly what I would call a beautiful nation."

"It is! It's the official language of the United States of AMERICA! AND I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING ON THIS EARTH!"

"Shut up!"

"Ooooooooh, say can you SEEEEEE!"

"No one likes your national anthem either!"

"By the dawn's early liiiight..."

"Why is he suddenly so patriotic?"

"No clue."

"WHAT SO PROOOOUUUDLLYYYYY WE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAILLED!"

"You're giving me a headache!"

"I'm not going to stop singing until you admit American is a language!"

"No! It's not!"

"BY THE TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING! WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS..."

"Oh. My. GOD!"

"I think that's enough, America..."

"THROOOOUGH THE PERILOUS FIIIIIIGHT..."

"Can we just play Go Fish?"

"O'ER THE RAAAAMMMPAAARTS WE WAAAATCHED WERE SO GALLANTLY STREAMING!"

"Okay, then. We'll just wait until you're done singing."

"Ugh... C'mon France, let's just leave."

* * *

"I can't believe you got me to play Battleship. On America's porch. In the rain."

"Isn't it fun?"

"Bastard."

"E-3."

"...Hit. G-1?"

"Miss!"

"E-4?"

"Dammit! You just sank my submarine, you bastard! I quit!"  
"C'mon Romano! Be a good sport!"  
"No! I hate this game! I always lose!"

"You hate every game because you always lose."

"Don't rub it in!"

"Hey, wanna go play in the rain and jump in puddles?"

"No."

"It'll be fuuun..."

"Anything that's fun for you is torture for me."

"But you love playing in the rain!"

"No I don't"

"Uh, yeah, you do. When you were little you'd jump in every little puddle you'd see and try to splash me."

"Oh yeah."

"So let's go jump in puddles and stuff!"

"No."

"Give me a good excuse why we shouldn't."

"If I play in the rain, I'll catch a cold."

"No you won't! I won't let you get sick!"

"I still don't want to!"

"Por favor?"

"No, Tomato Bastard. And those puppy dog eyes might work on my brother, but they don't have any affect on me whatsoever."

"..."

"Okay, fine! Let's just stand there for a little bit."

"Yes!"

* * *

"GAVE PROOOOOOOOF THROUGH THE NIIIIGHT THAT OUR FLAG WAS STILL THEEEEEEERE!"

"Oh, Lord. You can still hear him all the way over here."

"Well, he has never been the quiet one."

"OOOOH SAAAY DOES THAT STAR SPANGLED BAAAAAAAAAAANER YET WAAAAVE..."

"Is he almost done?"

"Yes, I think the next line is the last..."

"O'ER THE LAAAAAAAAAAAAND OF THE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, AND THE HOOOME OF THE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!"

"Oh, he's done."

"OOOOOH SAY CAN YOU SEEEEEE..."

"Oh, God, he started it up again!"

"Just tell him American is a language!"

"Never! Just like I will never tell him that football should be called soccer! It's ridiculous!"

"Perhaps now is the appropriate time for me to suggest that you should-"

"Apologize? Never!"

"WHOSE BROAD STRIIIPES AND BRIGHT STAAAAAAAARS..."

"'Oh, look. Who's that outside?"

"It looks like Spain. And Romano."

"They look like they're having fun. I wonder if they can hear America singing."

"Correction. Spain looks like he is having fun. Romano looks kind of miserable."

"Oh, Romano just fell in the mud! And Spain fell on him."

"Should we go out and join them?"

"No. I don't want to bother them. Let's just watch."

"Fine by me."

* * *

"I'm all wet, you bastard!"

"Well, that's what playing in the rain does to you."

"..."  
"Oh, ew! Did you just throw mud at me?"

"Yup. Actually, it might have been worm shit."

"Worm poop is mud."

"Well, no, it's the bumpy stuff on top of the mud."

"Who told you that?"

"Veneziano."

"Oh. I think he told me something like that too."

"Yeah."

"This grass makes really nasty squelching noises if you move around on it."

"It's because it's wet, idiot."

"Hey, why'd you just give that guy the bird?"

"He was looking at me funny!"

"Well, yeah. Two people handcuffed together and laying in a mud puddle is not exactly what I'd call a normal sight."

"I'm cold."

"Do you want to go inside?"

"No."

"Okay then."

* * *

"How the hell did we end up by the super market?"

"I don't know!"

"This is all thanks to your 'awesome retracing skills'!"

"DO NOT MOCK MY RETRACING SKILLS!"

"Stop screaming! People are giving us weird looks!"

"Well, let's just ask for directions."  
"Do you even know what street America lives on?"

"Well, no..."

"Ugggh... You're the worst. I hate you. I hate you."

"Hey! No hating on Prussia!"

"I'll hate on you all I want."

"Fine. But you wont hate me so much when we retrace ourselves back to America's house."

* * *

**Hey, look! Another dialogue chapter! I have a feeling that there are going to be a few more of these before the story is over...**

**Okay, so, you guys know I had that contest thingy, and the winner was Song of the Cursed Child. Her request was America, Romano, and a teeter totter. The answer was Mulan. Actually, everyone who guessed got it right. And because I took a long time with this chapter, and because other people who guessed gave me some really cute requests, I have decided to have another contest, this time with two questions. Here are the lists again if you need them:**

**List A:**

**~ America**

**~ Italy**

**~ Prussia**

**~ Poland**

**~ Russia**

**List B:**

**~ England**

**~ Romano**

**~ Hungary**

**~ China**

**~ Belarus**

**List C:**

**~ bubble soap**

**~ swing set**

**~ see saw/teeter totter/whatever**

**~ snuggies**

**~ baby pictures**

**The only combination you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT USE is America, Romano, and a teeter totter. And here are the questions:**

**What is Marie Antoinette's favorite color?**

**What is the French word for flea?**

**Well, thanks for reading guys! Don't forget to review!**


	5. Chapter 5: Head Petting and Nose Blowing

England woke the next morning to a disturbing sensation. At first, everything seemed completely normal. Sunlight shone through the windows, birds chirped obnoxiously outdoors. Because he had just woken up and still felt slightly drowsy, England at first did not notice that there was, in fact, a hand on his head. This hand belonged to a person by the name of France, who was, at the current moment, stroking England's hair and murmuring something in French. It is a well known fact that England did not like this France person. So, he did the only logical thing that a person might do in this situation. He had what scientists today might call a 'panic attack'.

"WAAAAAAAAH!" shrieked England. He fell on the floor due to an attempt to violently squirm away from France. But because he and France were handcuffed together, France also fell to the floor. On top of England.

"Quel est le problème, Angleterre?" he inquired.

"WANKER!" yelled England, trying to punch France with his free hand. Unfortunately, luck was just just not on his side this particular morning, and he failed, instead smacking his hand against part of the bed.

"Do you not like me?" France asked, making a sad face.

"My hand hurts," England said flatly.

"Just like my feelings," replied France.

"Well, it's not my fault that you insist on being the creepiest creep that ever creeped," England said. "Now please get off of me."

"'Creepiest creep that ever creeped'? Angleterre, your English appears to be failing you," France said with a smirk.

"Shut up. It's six in the bloody morning. I can't speak properly this early." said England. The door flew open as France was about to make a reply.

"IGGY!" yelled America, waving around his baseball bat. "We heard the scream and the thud and came rushing to your rescue! What happened?"

"Heroic actions originated in Korea, da-ze!" cried Korea, who was armed with a snow shovel. America made a face.

"No they didn't," he said. "Iggy? Where are you?" America looked around the room until he found England and France.

"Oh... Err... You're underneath France... And you're both in your underwear... Am I interrupting something?" he asked.

"No, you most certainly a-" England tried to object, but was cut off by France.

"Yes, yes you are," France said, moving closer to England and raising his eyebrows seductively.

"Oh... Okay... I'll go away now," said America.

"Have fun," Korea said weakly. The two walked out and closed the door quietly behind them. England pushed France off him.

"You sicken me," he said, dusting himself off.

"Well, it's not my fault that you pushed us both off the bed and into a rather... interesting position," said France. "Nor is it my fault that you like to sleep in your underwear."

"You sleep in your underwear too!" England said accusingly.

"So?" asked France.

"So you're no better than I am!" England said.

"Whatever you say, Angleterre," said France. "But we all know that I am indeed the better person."

"Hn," said England, who was too sleepy to come up with anything else to say.

* * *

Spain awoke to the sound of Romano sneezing and blowing his nose.

"Romano?" he said quietly. No answer. Just nose blowing.

"Romano?" he tried again. More nose blowing.

"Umm, are you okay?" Spain asked.

"No, you bastard," came the response. "I got a cold from your stupid rain escapade yesterday."

"Rain escapade?" asked Spain, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up. My head hurts," Romano said.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault isn't it?" Spain said.

"You said you wouldn't let me get sick, you bastard!" Romano said, sneezing directly afterwards.

"Well, I didn't think you would. I'm sorry, Romano," said Spain. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes. You can go jump off a cliff and die, asshole."

"Romano, that's not very nice!"

"Well, neither are you, Mr. I-Won't-Let-You-Get-A-Cold." Romano pulled the blanket over his head, refusing to continue the conversation. Spain sighed and left him alone.

* * *

Prussia woke up the next morning sitting on a park bench.

"Oww," he whined. "My neck hurts. Where are we again?"

"Lost," sighed Hungary. "Somewhere in America. I would like to remind you again that this is completely and utterly your fault."

"C'mon!" said Prussia. "It's not that bad, is it?"

"Yes," responded Hungary. She sighed again.

"Let's just try to get back," she said.

* * *

"Umm, has anyone noticed that Hungary and Prussia are like, totally missing? I haven't seen them since like, yesterday," Poland said while eating his toaster waffles. Liechtenstein sat quietly beside him eating a bowl of Fruit Loops.

"Yeah, I haven't really seen them around," agreed Lithuania, who was looking through America's cupboards. "Wow, America sure has a lot of food."

"Well, he's like, the world's biggest fatso. I wouldn't expect anything less," said Poland.

"That's not very polite, Poland," said Lithuania. After looking around some more, he decided that toast would have to do for that particular morning.

"Well, it's like, true!" said Poland. A little piece of waffle flew out of his mouth and onto the table. He quickly wiped it off with his sleeve.

"Don't chew with your mouth full," chided Lithuania. He sat down at the table across from Poland and Liechtenstein. Belarus peeled the banana in her hand and then began to violently chop it with a knife she had found somewhere.

"Sorry," said Poland.

"Umm, I think I saw them leave the house yesterday," said Liechtenstein.

"Ooooh! Maybe they like, ran away and took a plane back to Europe!" Poland said excitedly.

"I doubt that happened. Don't go about spreading rumors, okay?" said Lithuania.

"Yeah, you're probably right," said Poland, finishing off his waffles. "I mean, how could they like, get past the metal detectors at the airport? America like, has the keys locked in the safe, so they couldn't really like, get the handcuffs off."

"I wonder where they are now," said Liechtenstein.

"Yeah. Where exactly could they go? I mean, they don't really know the area that well, right?" said Poland.

"Do you think we should tell America that they're gone?" asked Lithuania. "It would be terrible if something bad happened to them."

"Nah," said Poland. "Wherever they are, I'm sure they'll figure it out."

* * *

**Translations:**

**Quel est le problème, Angleterre?- What's the problem, England?**

**Hey guys! Apologies for the short chapter... Well, I'm on summer break now! So... since I have no homework, I can probably get the updates posted faster! Well, anyways, thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated**. **So is constructive criticism! **


	6. Chapter 6: Issues

**I do not own Hetalia- Axis Powers! Hidekaz Himaruya does, though.**

* * *

France was practically dying of boredom.

Ever since the events of the morning, England had refused to talk to him, despite France's many efforts to initiate a conversation. Due to the increasingly awkward silence and lack of a better thing to do, France had decided to spend his time observing England, much like someone would observe a goldfish swimming in a bowl. Or a slug crawling across the pavement. It wasn't very fun. While England was entertaining for a short amount of time, he was not very amusing after a few hours. During this time, the only things France had learned was that England could stare at nothing in complete and total silence for hours and had a disturbing habit of petting his eyebrows every once in awhile. France wondered what he was looking at. Perhaps those "faerie friends" he insisted were real? France snickered at the thought. And then England lost it.

"ARRRRRGH!" England screamed. He sounded very frustrated.

"Is there a problem?" asked France.

"I can't take it anymore!" England shrieked, covering his head with his hands. "Stop staring at me, you smarmy git! Why do you feel the need to study me like some kind of bug under a microscope? I've never understood this creepy fixation you have with me... And frankly, I find it rather disturbing!" England carried on with his soon-to-be-monologue until France interrupted him with more laughter.

"Stop laughing! This isn't funny!" cried England. "I... I... STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"

"I'm sorry, England," said France, wiping a few laughter-induced tears away from his eyes. "I'm going to assume this is your way of telling me that you'd like to talk again?"

"No! I still don't like you!" said England, turning away from France. He mumbled something that sounded vaguely like "stupid frog" under his breath.

"Angleterre, whatever did I do to make you so upset?" France asked innocently.

"You know very well what you did!" came England's accusing reply. "Or have you already forgotten what happened this morning?"

"Oooh, that? That was just a silly misunderstanding!" France said, waving it off.

"I woke up to you fondling my head and whispering in your dumb frog-language! I'll bet you were saying something explicit, too!" England shouted.

"Now, now, remember the point of this, uh... exercise," France said, gesturing at the handcuffs. "Amérique just wants us to get along. Why are you too stubborn to even attempt at being friendly with me?"

"I'm not stubborn!" England said. "You're just... sketchy. I don't trust anyone, let alone you!"

"Well then, why not start trusting me?" France asked.

"Hmph!" England said, turning away. France sighed. Time for more awkward silence.

* * *

At around two o'clock in the afternoon, America's doorbell rang. After America refused to answer it the first time, it rang a few more times. Then a loud pounding sound was heard. When America finally answered the door, he and Korea were greeted by a rather rumpled and irritated looking Prussia and Hungary. When asked where they had gone, neither of the two gave an answer. They simply glared at each other and retreated to the kitchen.

"Gosh! No one seems to be getting along. They're all just refusing to talk to one another," America said sadly. "I feel like I may have just made everyone's relationships worse..."

"No!" cried Korea, shaking his head vigorously. "If you hadn't had this idea, you and I wouldn't have been able to do all those fun things together! Like play Go Fish and dance to the pop music of our countries! Besides, it's only been two days! Give it some time. After all, patience is highly valued in Korea, da-ze!"

"You're right!" said America, his expression brightening. "The hero does not give up! He forges on until the very end!"

* * *

Similar to the situation of many others around them all was not well with Spain and Romano.

"I hope you catch this dumb cold from me, you stupid bastard!" Romano said, sneezing shortly afterwards.

Spain sighed. He felt very guilty that Romano had gotten sick because of him.

"Romano, I really am sorry," he apologized.

"All you do is apologize!" Romano complained.

"I'm so-" Spain started.

"AH!" Romano interrupted. "One more apology and I smash your head open! Ugh. I can't stand you. Go get the crayons and paper on that desk over there, bastard!"

"_So demanding..."_ thought Spain. He sighed and granted Romano's request. Romano snatched a sheet of paper and selected crayon from the box. He began to draw some plant-like things on the paper. After drawing in a few tomatoes hanging off the plants, he paused to think of what to do next.

"May I see it?" Spain asked.

"Yeah, whatever." Romano said. He handed it to Spain. "I know it sucks, but I'm no Veneziano so you'll just have to deal."  
"It looks really great!" Spain said, grinning. "May I add something?" Romano nodded and handed him the crayons. Spain did his best at drawing in two people, both with brown hair. He drew a wayward curl coming off the head of the smaller person.

"Look! It's you and me!" Spain said.

"Hnn! Looks stupid!" Romano said, scoffing. He rolled over and put his head on the armrest of the couch they were sitting on.

"I'm going to take a nap now, so shut up and don't wake me unless the house is on fire or something," he said. "You can keep the dumb picture if you want."

Romano closed his eyes. Spain smiled. He took one last look at the picture before folding it up and putting it in his pocket.

* * *

**Hey guys! Long time no see! It may please you to know that this story is no longer on hiatus! Yay!**

**However, updates will most likely and unfortunately be relatively slow while I try and re-familiarize myself with the fanfiction world.**

**I don't know if you guys know this or not, but this is my first real fanfic, and I realized that it's sort of got a convoluted kind of plot. So, I have decided that my main focus will be on certain "handcuff groups" (namely Spain + Romano and England + France, just because they are the easiest for me to handle) and you guys can vote on which groupings can be included but not in as much detail. Basically, I will have my "main groupings", and then the "background groupings", which will be less-heavily focused on. The other groupings mentioned will appear, but not as frequently as the main or back ground ones. Does this make sense? Sorry I'm so confusing!**

**In a few minutes, I will put up a poll on my profile and you guys can vote on which "background grouping" you desire. I may also put up a poll on whether or not this story should have romantic pairings. Vote as soon as you can, because I will probably close the polls at the end of the week. If no one votes, I will decide what happens myself.**

**As always, thank you SO MUCH for reading and being patient with me. Please review! I love you all! **

**- Xiggy**


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